So, the truth? Somewhere between April and August, I forgot how to properly blog. In april, I took a big step away from blogging, and -- yes -- questioned if I even still wanted to do this and if it was worth the time I was spending on it. (Obviously, I have decided that it is.) And then the summer happened. I don't quite know what to say about what happened this summer. The problem was that while before, I'd been able to share pretty much everything going on in my life, and I'd basically been completely open, this summer, a lot of stuff happened. All of it was drama that doesn't belong in the blogosphere. I wrote when I could during those months, but I usually couldn't say anything very honest; all I could do was share some photographs and a few descriptions of what the weather was like. Part of it was because I was just overall confused about everything and couldn't form anything coherent enough to be a half-decent post, but also because I didn't feel like any of it belonged on my blog. So I was really struggling with finding a balance between what to share and what not to. (And posts get particularly scarce when I can't share anything. I mean, let's be real: I only posted twice in September.)
Now that I've had a few months (...or four) to get back into the groove of blogging, things are starting to move more smoothly and I'm slowly beginning to relearn how to blog.
Another thing I've forgotten since April is why I even blog to begin with. When I didn't feel like I could connect with my blog anymore because I wasn't sharing what was going on in my life, blogging seemed pointless. Slowly, though (and quite recently), I've been finding joy and purpose through blogging again. Blogging isn't just a place to become known, it's a place (for me, anyway) to thrive creatively. It's a place to share and engage. It's a place to create. And I'm slowing reteaching myself how to create again in this little space. Before, I'd always just shared things about my life, but through being unable to share life, I've learned that this is also a space to be creative. And that is just one of the valuable things I've learned through what happened this summer.
Now that it's the new year and I've had some space away from everything that went on this summer, I've finally been able to see it all from a new perspective and get what went on this summer off my chest. I really did not enjoy feeling like a fake, so coming clean about the fact that things went on in my life that I didn't share here, finally makes me feel like I'm being real and honest with you all, which is one of the things that I've always tried to do on my blog.
Things happened in my life this year, yes, and those things made me grow as and older and (hopefully) wiser person. Things comes down to the fact that: this year changed me. (the summer in particular.) I see people, things, and life differently now than I once did. And although back in July of 2011, when I changed my blog's name to borderless, and had no intention of changing it, too much has happened now not to change it. Here's the thing about my previous blog renamings: I've always chosen a name that describes what I'm going through and who I am at the time. When I get over something, or things change, or I change, then I feel obliged to change the blog name also. That's been my own mistake, and I'm hoping to change this. For the past month, I've been tossing around the idea of changing my blog's name. The new year came around, and if there ever was a time to do it, it was now. I was unsure and apprehensive about it all, but I finally decided to change the name. (with encouragement from my sister.) The new name to replace 'borderless,' came easily.
NEVER MIND. What goes on here on this blog is no big deal. It's just some thoughts, creations, and words of a girl named Megan Kristine. This is just a small documentation of my life and who I am, but never mind, there are bigger, better, more important things out there in the world. Never mind is a word that encompasses so much carefree emotion, which is what my blog is. (or at least what I want it to be.) So it seemed like the perfect title. Instead of a word to describe myself, it's a word to describe this space, and hopefully that will ensure that it'll stick. (but no promises. hah.)
Discovering how I want to do things here on
borderless never mind is always such a struggle. I wrote about how I'd like to post whatever I feel like posting, although it won't necessarily follow the normal blogging code [here], and I'm still working on sticking to that plan. (one of my recent inspirations for this is Rachel of Elephantine. sometimes she just posts two pictures; sometimes she posts a short story. it's a perfectly lovely way to go about blogging. never mind (hah. see what I did there?) strict posting patterns.) Developing my blogging style and voice is something that I'd love to do this upcoming year.
So here's to crazy summers, forgetting how to do things, and...I feel like there was something else, but Never Mind.
xo | Megan