the dreaming ballerina

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Tap, tap, tap. Satin covered dancer's feet patter across the stage. The movements play out the story of the Nutcracker. And I am taken back to then I was younger. A hazy memory of a six year old girl slips into my mind's eye. Carrying her pink ballet bag, the studio doors opened. She walks into an empty stall to change into her pink leotard, or perhaps she had chosen to wear her purple one. Tights go on; pink ballet slippers afterward. She hangs her bag on one of the many hooks, along with the other ballerina's. It was time for class.

Mirrors reflect her happy smile as she skips across the room. Galloping and leaping, echoing the moves of her teacher. Music playing, the barre in her grasp, she owned the happiness of the world.


Class soon ended, to the little girl's despair. She changes into everyday clothes and tugs on her mother's sleeve, who is deep into conversation with another mother, for a few moments. Silently, the little girl moves to the showcase window. Inside, rests a pale pink pair of pointe shoes. The girl wonders -- would they fit me? And then resolves, they will fit me, someday. I shall wear them.

She gazes into the window for a long while, imagining the shoes on her feet as she glided across the stage. The Angelina books she read day and night encouraged her to dance. And for a long moment, that dream of being a ballerina was so real, so close. She wished for the ballet slippers in the window so dearly.



Week after week, she would gaze at the slippers. And yet, she grew older -- life went on. Things changed. She changed. Ballet lessons were stopped because of moves to other states; ballet at a different studio seemed so wrong and so different. Music lessons were taken instead. Slowly, ballet slipped out of practice.


This ballet dream still holds a place in my memory. I never got the shoes, but sometimes my childhood being wishes I did. I've changed quite a bit since then. My goals are different, and so are my dreams. I still do a bit of dance now, but not ballet. Perhaps it wasn't in God's plan for me to be a dancer, but it was part of my beginning. It was my childhood dream.


what was your childhood dream?
-megan

p.s. break from moments+memories for december, I'm quite busy this time of year. (after all, who isn't?)

18 comments:

  1. Lovely post.
    I've always always always wanted to have pointe shoes and be on Broadway. My childhood dreams haven't changed and I'm almost 16. xD I finally got my pointe shoes though. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. my childhood dream (well, one of them) was to teach kindergarten. i was so blessed to have the best kindergarten teachers in the world. i'm homeschooled now, and i'd rather be a writer than a teacher, but i will never forget my 4 years at public school (kindergarten and grades 1,2,&3).

    abbie-xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. My childhood dream was practically the same as yours Megan. I was SO close to getting those slippers! But my dream ended when I started getting bad knee pains and had to stop dancing for a few years!

    ReplyDelete
  4. My childhood dream was the same - to be a ballerina. After a time, it changed, and I wanted to be a gymnast, and so I pursued it for a time. Then, I found a wonderful dance studio (the people there are like family to me) and began dancing again. At first, it was just a fun activity, but now it has become a passion, especially this summer, when I used my first pair of pointe shoes for the first time, and discovered the joy I had been waiting for for so long. :)

    Beautiful post - I love how you describe the dance studio with such comforting and warm words.
    Love,
    ~Bree

    ReplyDelete
  5. this made me ache for the dance studio. after my accident, i haven't been able to dance the way i used to. i miss it so much...

    i know the feeling. my childhood dream was to write books. and i'm doing it, and it's amazing. never stop dreaming; dreams change, and you never know what might come.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is so beautiful!! And your pictures are so awesome! What setting was your camera on?? I had many childhood dreams...a couple I still have, some I've let go. =)

    ReplyDelete
  7. BEAUTIFUL photos! In the back of my mind I've always wanted to be a ballerina but Grace is definitely not my middle name. It is my sisters though. But her middle name shouldn't be Grace either. ;) Hahah.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You're writing is so gorgeous. Love the pictures, too! I used to want to dance on a hip-hop team. My dream actually came true for a while! But that phase is over for me now. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. amazing.
    when i was a little girl i wanted to be the First Lady of the United States. not the President, the First Lady. because when Laura Bush was First Lady i always admired her clothes and the way she walked and i wanted to be just like her when i grew up. sadly, that slipped away, and i am now into music. but i still remember.
    beautiful, beautiful post. :))
    -jocee <3

    ReplyDelete
  10. ballet brings back so many memories for me...but i couldn't imagine myself being a dancer now. i'm quite content to see my friends who have God given talent float across the stage.

    ReplyDelete
  11. my childhood dream was to be an astronaut. oh, yes :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. how is it that we post about similar things and we don't even realize the other person is doing something similar? WEIRD. Must be a sister thing.

    I love your stories. They make me smile. (:

    ReplyDelete
  13. haha, Abby - my middle name is Grace. Literally. :)

    abbie-xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  14. Great pictures of the show! :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Emily - I shot these in manual. You can see the details here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/megankmphotography/6478291757/meta/in/photostream

    ReplyDelete
  16. wow, this was gorgeous. your words, and your photos too. I really want to take my little sisters to see the Nutcracker this year--I saw it when I was little, but it's been years. and they haven't seen it at all and thus very much need to. (:

    my childhood dream (like mary ann, hehe) was also to be an astronaut. funny you should ask, because I was just discussing this with my little sister today. she wanted to know why my dream had changed. but sometimes, it just does, and it's good all the same.

    anyhoo, that was a bit of a ramble. ;) this was beautiful, truly.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I love ballet, and the Nutcracker is beautiful! I really want to see a professional performance of it someday.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I always wanted to be in dance and gymnastics, but it wasn't ever pursued. I prefer other types of dance, though. this was a beautiful post =)

    ReplyDelete

because comments = happiness.