Evaluations.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I haven't been here, writing in this compose post block, since about eight days ago. I realized much earlier that this blog was causing neglect within other realms of my life and that was hard to take in. So, as the most obvious thing to do, I finished my design orders, wrote up a few posts, and left. I now feel awful for doing so; not telling you. But I knew that I would be coming back and didn't want to alarm anyone. Although, this still doesn't quite explain why exactly I left, does it?

You may have noticed a bit of a theme in my last three posts. Each one was ended with 'so here's to...' and each one was about things that I so desperately wanted to do again. I could have added many more to the list, which, truthfully, is awful. The entire route that my life had gone down needed fixing, and extreme at that. A break to sort things out was simply all I needed.

Now, I love this blog, don't get me wrong. It's a simply lovely place to talk to you all and express my feelings. But sometimes good things can go too far. In this instance, it had. It's a bit hard to go back to a week ago; this past one has been so busy. But if I think hard enough, I remember hours of my time spent reading blogs, trying to make my blog better, scrolling through pinterest, and being bored facebook and twitter. I honestly don't know why I always went to the internet to have something to do; I had so much more that I wanted.

To better explain myself, here is a snippet of my journal; my reflections after this evaluation.
Evaluation week. I wanted this week so badly, yet I didn't want it at all...Everything I love, care, and thrive upon was slipping so quickly from my innocent grasp. And I had no idea how to fix it...I think evaluations are always hard, but this one especially...My life had always been one of deep imagination, of words, of stories, of beauty. All of which have faded over the past few months. But I need them...Returning [to life as of the past few months] is not, and will never be, an option.
I now can see quite clearly that time is of more value that it ever has seemed to be to me. How I spend it is a choice of my own, and I haven't been doing a very good job of choosing what is right. Finding comfort in something so worthless is a waste of everything I work on outside of it.

You have nothing to fear, though. I'll still be posting just as much as I ever have, and reading the lovely blogs which I follow. The fact of the matter is, that's all I'll be doing. Occasional glimpses into facebook, twitter, and pinterest will be taken, although all my time will not be spent there. Constant email checks will not be priority. Sitting around waiting for a new post will not be happening. But there are things that will; writing, reading, journaling, waking early, and so much more will become my daily. Or as I said it in my journal "This neglected relationship with the Lord will become the center of me, with all that I care about, around it."




-megan

11 comments:

  1. Congrats on actually doing something about constantly being the internet. There is so much I'd like to do, but the internet pretty much consumes my life.
    *Sigh*
    Love the new design by the way!

    ReplyDelete
  2. go for it, girl! I've decided to do the same thing and it's much worth it. From now on I'll post when I wish, and not feel like I *have* to post. Some days I won't even get on the computer at all. it's a lovely feeling.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great job! Slowly and surely I have been realizing that I should be spending way less time on the internet. You made me want to reach this goal even more. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. you are inspiring, friend :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. i haven't posted for a week on my blog. and it seems like it's been a year. but i've only gained a follower since then, and everyone understands. evaluations are very important. we have to remember who's first: God. not the internet, right?

    thanks for such an inspiring post! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. I spend way too much time on the internet. That's partly the reason I haven't been posting either. I'm actually in the middle of making a post sort of like yours. Haha, great minds think alike? =) I know lots of people who waste their life on the internet, and they know it. But they don't do anything about it. Good for you for stepping up and realizing what spending hours on end on the computer can do to a person. You have inspired me. =)

    ReplyDelete
  7. p.s. beautifully written post, btw. (as always)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I've been in the same exact place; enjoy your space! Don't push yourself(:
    Wonderful post, it was inspiring.
    <3katie
    mind checking my blog?
    www.katies-favorite-things.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. You, my dear sister, have wisdom WAY beyond your years. When did you grow up and get so wise? (:

    -Marissa

    ReplyDelete

because comments = happiness.