The question has turned up countless times the past couple of days. Why do I blog?
Blogging started out for me as just a little something to occupy my time and a small place to express my thoughts. Over a spanse of time, that had changed dramatically to a sudden stretch to be better, strive harder, and make it to a spot on everyone's favorite blogs list. And I forced myself to stop. I was jolted to a sudden rethinking of who I was and what on earth this blog was turning into.
I began to blog about simple things that made me happy.
Thoughts, photos, happy feelings.
I had 164 followers then.
I now have 247.
Apart from my change to forgetting about numbers and focusing on just posting happy things, I finally achieved what I wanted, didn't I?
I finally got the 200.
Honestly, the result is something I never thought would happen:
A sudden stretch to be better, have the best design, follow all the right blogs, say all the right things, take the best pictures, have the prettiest profile picture.
But honestly, is that what I wanted?
Is that a reason to blog?
I think not. Very much so, actually.
|photo credit; marissa|
The truth is, that isn't what I wanted. I didn't want to feel like I had to always be perfect.
I don't think anyone does. Not really.
The warped sighting of what I want this little corner of my life to be isn't comforting at all. It's not something that I smile at when I look at it. It's not something that I have an understanding of. Not at all.
rants about harry potter pin boards . rants about cameras . giveaways . constant design changes . mixed thoughts about school . too, too, too, many lists .
This is what my blog is. Is this really what I've become?
Again, I have forced myself to rethink what goes on here. And finally, I have come to a conclusion:
This simple niche of loveliness is a reason for me to smile. a place for me to think. a place for me to express my thoughts. a place to simply be megan. but before placing a "name" of sorts on this blog, I first must decide who I am. I am a person of concealed stories, and far too many ideas and thoughts for an hour. a day. a life. I love creating things of all sorts. My dreams have no limits. I live by the small notation that life is short, and you have but only have one chance to do something worth while. More or less, this blog should be a place for those thoughts. A place to empty my mind of the flooding words.
When I think of this blog, I see a sort of basket that I was given when twelve years old "fill this with the things you never want to forget" I imagine myself being told. Being twelve, the things I didn't want to forget were silly stories about games and photos of my family and small creations of no importance. But as I got older, I began to fill it with thoughts and words that truly meant something. Actually, sometimes I mistook the meaning of my basket and put a few things in that, truly, belonged in the trash. But I imagine my basket being on a display of sorts. Some walk by quickly, taking a peek across the surface, just to see what I have put inside recently. Others stay for awhile before leaving. And a select few grab a chair and take a seat, eager to see what else I have to put inside, searching to be inspired as to what to add to their own basket. But I'm not out to please them. I might listen to their suggestions of what sort of things I should put inside, but what I truly want to remember is up to me and me only. But the question is, what do I want to remember?
I suppose that question can only be answered in each post I present to you. Whether you are a passerby, a stick for a moment, or here to stay, I hope you will join me while I flood my basket with the things I truly want to remember.
(thank you to carlotta, who caused me to rethink what this blog is)